Happy 2013! Yes, Happy!

I have had many thoughts over the past few days about this new year.  I am sure you have as well.  Sorry my last post was a downer - just call me Debbie - the Downer, that is.  I am working on that!

2012 was a year of growth and challenges, of joy and fun.  The best things about 2012 would be:

~We were blessed with a wonderful vacation with all five of us to Emerald Isle, North Carolina.  We stayed in a nice home right next to the beach.  We love love loved it.  I'd go back in a heartbeat.

Dang- a few of us are getting chubby.... gotta work on that!

~ I was able to serve the wonderful women of the Columbia Stake in many ways.  One of the most favorite would be planning our Women's Conference held in April.  WOW - what work that was!  Many sisters enjoyed it, and that is the point.

~ I went to "Time out For Women" with my good friends Carrie and Diane.  Tons of fun there, I tell ya!

~I visited Arizona and helped my niece recover from surgery by helping to take care of her little adorable baby girl. She recovered quickly and we had lots of play time!  I loved being with my nieces and nephews and their families.  They are such a joy.

~Hubby and I went on a 28th Wedding Anniversary trip to a lovely place in Virginia.  It was a pleasant get-away together.  L and I went to a family homestead in New York.  See that same blog post for information.

~I finished a couple of quilts.  I should have finished more - I will do that THIS year!

~We spent Thanksgiving with family in Tennessee.  YAY!

~I supported Hubby through two minor surgeries.  He is becoming quite a good patient!

~We worked on a lot of home improvements!  We are almost done with the necessaries.

~I have gotten to play in the Nursery at church on Sundays now for a couple of months.  THAT is pure fun with those little angels - well, except when a few are crying, but they are learning and getting over it and that is a blessing!  They are so dear!

~I discovered The Pioneer Woman.  I shall blog about her soon.  I love her.  I think I mentioned that.

~My teeny small business runs well and grows without me trying to grow it.  That is cool.

~I spent lots of wonderful time with my daughter sewing, laughing, and working on projects.  We gained a love for the TV shows Castle and Dr. Who.  In spite of her health problems, she is still a joy to me in so many ways.

~I discovered SongPop!  Oh my....do you  know that game?  It's too much fun.

~Christmas was fantastic.  B and B were home with us. I got spoiled. Hubby does that.  I love him.

So, there are some blessings!  Wow - I feel so  much better.  I should count the joy more often.  Yes, I think I shall.

But you'll have have to WAIT a little while for more of that!

A Little Catching-Up - Just a Little

The end of the year is here, and I realize I haven't blogged for 6 months.  Don't doubt - I have had PLENTY to say, and yet, a variety of things have held me back.  I ponder what to do with this blog -do I continue, do I end it?  I've talked about that before. I'm not too great at being consistent.  I find that flows into many areas of my life, that lack-of-consistency thing.  But as the 31st of 2012 approaches, I ponder and ponder and evaluate and plan to move on ahead.

  Here are a few random thoughts about where I am now.

~I have been in a bit of a funk for several months.  I was released from my calling in my church, where I was serving as a leader of women in about 7 congregations.  That was a tough release - and I have questioned the reasons why.  Yet, it happens, I understand that,  but I miss it.   Because of that calling, I chose my words carefully here on this blog because I never know who reads what I write.  I stayed away from controversial issues.  I'm not sure I will do that now.

~About the same time as my release, we had our national presidential election. I am very politically passionate.   Now,  I am still in  mourning about the results.  Some days I can  hardly breathe.  I have chosen for now to ban all TV news from my home or at least when I am in the room.  I don't listen to talk radio anymore for now.  I am trying to live my life in my little home and am being involved in my church and with my family and friends I trust.  That's the only way I can cope with it right now.

~We've done several home improvements. I will try to catch up on some of that.  Maybe it will help someone else before they paint their kitchen cabinets WHITE!!

~My daughter L continues with health problems - it's been 15 months now.  She will be 21 next month, and has hardly any college credits nor has she been able to work.  I work with her daily on health issues, drive her to doctors' appointments, watch TV with  her, and do all I can to keep her moving and feeling positive.  I honestly don't always feel positive about her challenges, but we keep going.

~I've become obsessed with the Pioneer Woman.  I adore her.  More on her later!

These past six months since I last blogged I have endured disappointments, felt certain prayers are going unanswered, certain righteous desires go ignored, fought with people about politics and their  views about certain Mormon Women's issues that I do not understand (ok, well, I didn't literally FIGHT with them, but there were a few discussions that I'd call more than a casual chat).   I have also been blessed daily to have a husband who loves me and supports me always and forever, and two dear friends who keep me moving and who listen to my whining.  I have lots of blessings, truly.

I think I'm ready for a new beginning and a new year.

I  suppose I will have to WAIT a few more days.....

The latest on Vestibular Migraine - oh, Wait - is That IT?

My dearest daughter L continues to have health issues. To refresh your memory, read here.   This all started last Fall, you know.  Well, it continues.

A few months ago, L started feeling better finally - almost back to her normal self, but not quite.  She was  trying to do more things, like read, do more chores, sew, thinking about taking classes again, etc.  She has been SO VERY SICK of being SICK, that she tried to overcome it the best that she could.  After a week or so of that, she spiraled down again into barely being able to get off of the couch.  Sigh.  Here we go again, we all thought.

She has spent months doing all the things her Neurologist prescribed for her, including living on a very strict diet to heal her Migraines.  She has gone off of it a few times, but not too horribly.  Medications haven't helped very much.  She is so ultra-sensitive to any medications, that she is given very small doses of anything she is taking.  Yet still, she had a nose dive.

She had an appointment with her Neurologist just in time.  He is very determined and cares for her a great deal, but she causes his puzzler to puzzle.  During this visit, he determined that she has low blood pressure and that this is adding to her dizziness, nausea, etc.  Now, let's see.... how many times in how many doctors' offices have they taken her blood pressure during the months and months of appointments?  Hmmm?  A MILLION???  Yes.  No one thought about her low blood pressure possibly adding to her issues.  Seriously.    She's had lower blood pressure for years.

That appointment with Dr. F. was on a Friday.  Naturally, Hubby started doing research about this.  We discovered that medications she had been on over the years have added greatly to her low blood pressure.  We remembered many times she she has been faint and nearly passed out in certain circumstances.
Many of her  current symptoms matched those of low blood pressure.  What?  Yes.

Then, a few days later, she had an appointment with her other neurologist - well, he is a neuropsychologist.  He was going to chew her out for seemingly not being as cooperative with her neurofeedback (did I tell you about that yet?  THAT is amazing stuff).  Well, he then realized why she wasn't so "in" to it.  She has LOW BLOOD PRESSURE!!  Yes, his tech was taking L's blood pressure twice a week.  Duh.  Come on, people!  We discussed with him everything that has been going on with her, and everything we researched.

What we said mattered.  We are now on a new path to see what is causing the low blood pressure.  For now, she has to take salt tablets, drink lots of water, and exercise.  Apparently old-lady support hose are supposed to help as well.  Good times!

This is a reminder to every parent that ever reads this that even when you have world-famous doctors who appear on Dr. Oz that parents are the ones who OFTEN lead the doctor to the right place.  DO NOT underestimate the power you have and that the knowledge and instincts you have aid in finding a correct diagnosis.  Do not give up.

So, my 20 year old still has no life.  We don't know when she will be well enough to get more than the 3 college credits she has.  She is home....with me (except for when I work, or shop, or go to lunch).... all the time.  She has handled the emotion of all this frustration amazingly well.  I am so proud of her for that.  I have a new appreciation for those with chronic illnesses.  I hope I will have the foresight to support those who can't do anything but survive due to health problems, and support those who take care of them a little bit better.  It's a lonely spot sometimes.

I have days when I wonder if this well end, of this will be her life.  Right now, I really don't know.

I'll just have to WAIT a little while.....and so will she.

Number 28 and A Knight In New York

Not that anyone has noticed, but I haven't blogged since Mid-March.  I am in a continual quandary as to what this blog should be about, and who actually might read it.  For posterity's sake, I shall blog today about two important events over the past 10 days.  So, Posterity, Pay attention!!

Event # 1:  Last weekend, on the 25th, Hubby and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary.  I know - That. Is. Old.  (Has anyone seen "The Kid"?  Classic line from that great movie).  I digress.

Hubby planned a weekend getaway to Winchester, Virginia.  We stayed in a lovely hotel and enjoyed lots of walking and window shopping, talking, visiting some historic museums, and reconnecting.

We visited the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley which was actually a really well-done museum and was very interesting!  The main house was closed due to restoration work, but the gardens were absolutely beautiful to walk in.

We also went to the Family Drive-in Theatre!  What a hoot!  I haven't been to one of those since I was a kid.  This is a wonderful place, and seriously is almost worth the drive as a family just to experience it.  The family who owns it has done a wonderful job preserving the heritage of a drive-in, and keeping it (generally) family friendly.  Since it was Memorial Day weekend, my favorite part was the Patriotic pre-show.  They played memorable America-loving songs and showed scenes on the big screens about our wonderful country, saluting those who have died in serving our country.  I loved it.  Thank you, Family Drive In!!

Oh, and we did watch a fun movie - Men in Black 3.

L stayed home and enjoyed 2 1/2 days of alone-time bliss.

Event #2:  Hubby had to fly far away out of town this past Friday, so L and I took a little road trip to upstate New York to reconnect with our roots and a little church history.  You see, I am a descendant of Joseph Knight, through his son Newel Knight, who are prominent people in the beginnings of my church.  They were by the side of Joseph Smith during the early days of the restoration.   They are both mentioned in the Doctrine and Covenants, one of our books of scripture.

Well, about 3 weeks ago, I found out that the Knight Farm was being restored by some wonderful people, and they were dedicating a statue at this farm and opening up the home for all to see.  They were hoping to have some descendants to come and attend, in addition to local church members. I never even knew that the house still stood.  Most Knight descendants reside on the west side of the country - a few of us are transplanted back here in the East!  I stewed and pondered, and finally decided that I would probably kick myself if I didn't go on this little adventure with L and drive up there.  So, we did.

The farm is located in Nineveh, New York.  The first congregation of the church was established here by Joseph Smith and called the Colesville Branch.  Hyrum Smith, brother of Joseph, was the first leader of this congregation.  Newel Knight, my great-great-times-a-bunch grandfather was the second.  Many of the very first baptisms, including Joseph's wife, Emma, took place in the Susquehanna River just beyond the house and across a field.  This is sacred ground to members of my church.

The main purpose of this Open House was to dedicate a statue of Joseph and Hyrum Smith.  A little meeting  which included history, singing, and tears began the event.  I met a few distant relatives and enjoyed visiting with members of the church who live in the area and are so proud to be a part of this history now.  I was called "a Knight", which I have never been called in my lifetime.  But, I suppose I am and what an overwhelming thought that is!  To me, it is a legacy to live up to, and to cherish.  I am grateful for it and I am blessed.  It adds to my testimony of the restoration of the gospel and of the church.

I could write a great deal more about the history of this place, and all the wonderful things my ancestors did to support Joseph Smith in his mission to perform a most important work.  I won't - but if you want more information, I can recommend some great books!

Instead of writing, I will share a few photos of our experience in Colesville, New York:

View from the street

The Porch

A little history

Testimony of Newel Knight, hanging right in the front door

fireplace

A room upstairs being renovated - original floors

More original floors - imagine whose feet walked here

View from the back yard

The part of this well below ground is the original well, built by Joseph Smith and Joseph Knight (or at least that is my understanding)

Us - beyond the line of trees is the part of the river where baptisms had taken place

It was a wonderful couple of weekends.  I am blessed.  I wonder when I'll get another trip this summer?

Well, a great one is coming up in August, but I'll just have to WAIT a little while.....

More Than You Or I Want to Know about Vestibular Migraines

My sweet daughter L has been suffering since the beginning of October from dizziness, light headedness, nausea, and blurred vision, which I have blogged about a little before.  Yesterday we met with her neurologist (as seen on TV! - yes, he is famous) and  we feel like we finally have a plan of action.  He still believes her symptoms are consistent with the diagnosis of Vestibular Migraines.

For those of you who are interested, the plan involves several different parts.

1.  She will take teeny doses of Topamax, for the migraines, which will take a few weeks to see if it works.  She can increase the dosage as needed.  She will also take Clonazepam in teeny doses for the dizziness.  We really hope that actually helps, because nothing else has so far.
2.  L can sleep okay, but she does not have restful sleep - she has pretty active dreams (battles with swords are often fought and won)  most nights so she doesn't get a lot of rest, really.  He told her to take Benadryl at night to help with that.  Apparently migraine sufferers have worse symptoms from lack of sleep, but you probably already knew that.
3.  Apparently there are several types of foods that can trigger migraines.  She has had very few foods over these past months that she can even stomach to eat, due to constant nausea.  We will have to eliminate things here and there, but several of us, including the doctor, suspect that foods with gluten in them are a trigger.  So, guess who gets to learn about cooking gluten-free?  Yes, that would be us.  Ugh.  We will experiment with other foods that are triggers as well.
4.  L's fitness level was also tested several weeks ago.  Due to the dizziness for 5 months, etc., her fitness level is very low for a young woman her age.  He really read her the riot act about that - I am happy I didn't have to, because I have suspected for a while that this was causing  some of her problems. He explained to her how she needs to get blood moving in her brain to help its functionality. She seems much more motivated now to try.  Of course being dizzy and light-headed every day makes it pretty tough to want to exercise!  So, hopefully some of these medications, etc. will help quickly so that she can start a work-out routine.
5.  He told us to read the book, "Heal Your Headache", which I purchased on Amazon last night.   It is quite a strict program to help with headaches.  After all she has been through, I think L is pretty willing to do what is needed.  At least, she is willing right NOW.....
6. Last month, L participated in some neurocognitive testing, which this doctor ordered, but we haven't gotten the results yet from the doctor who performed them.  We will meet with her, and then find out if L is eligible also for some neurofeedback treatment.  Apparently, this can also be quite a help to some people on the autism spectrum.  That would be a wonderful thing if it would help eliminate or improve some of her Aspergers challenges. I don't really know that much about this, so we shall see.
7.  This doctor is a memory expert, and he was very curious about L's brain and her memory.  She has an amazing memory for certain things, but her executive functioning has always been wavering due to ADD symptoms as well as the Aspergers.  In December, he had her answer a series of questions, and do some tasks in a computer program he designed for memory testing.  He told her that she was "off the charts" with her results, and that he could see from the test results how highly intelligent she is.  He was very pleased, and his reaction to this gave her a much needed boost of confidence.

So, there you have it.  My prayer is that this plan of action actually works for her.  I know many migraine sufferers who do many of these things, but have little improvement when their migraines hit.  While L doesn't have a lot of headache pain, these vertigo symptoms have been completely debilitating and she has not been able to really get going with college credits, or jobs, etc.  She had to miss this semester again.  Hopefully she can start feeling well enough soon to get back to learning to drive, and perhaps get a job.  We have high hopes that her quality of life will improve very soon.

We just may have to WAIT a little while to find out.  

Twenty about the Twenty Year Old

Today, L turned 20. We are passed the teen years. That makes me feel a bit old, and yet, pretty dang excited!  I've thought a lot today about my/our journey with her, and thought I would list some of them.

My top 20 thoughts today about her, and for her, are these:

1.  What would I do without your laugh?  It is infectious.
2.  You were the most beautiful baby girl - all eyelashes and eyebrows.
3.  You have had to endure way more than most people have to endure in a lifetime.  Some day we'll understand why. It has made us all stronger and more compassionate.  Wow - well, maybe that's why?
4.  I am grateful that we have found things to bond over - various TV shows, Disneyworld, politics, chocolate, singing in the car, kitties, sewing, and rolling our eyes at Dad.
5. I am confident that you will get over your current health problems (for curious readers, see this post, page down to December)  and will be able to move on in your life.
6.  Heavenly Father loves you and DOES watch over you.  He waits for you to reach back to Him.
7.  You have become amazingly skilled at calming yourself down during frustrating conversations and situations.  Few 20 year-olds can do that. I can't even always do that.
8.  I don't get the Anime thing - sorry.  Don't hate me.
9.  Your grandmother, Mayma, would be so very thrilled that you love to sew and to create costumes.  Can we throw in a church skirt or something?  Please?
10.  Your father loves you more than you will ever realize. Please use that power for good.
11.  Your memory for details truly amazes me.
12.  I am so very happy that you embrace being different than most.  It is endearing.  It is admirable.  I still don't get the anime thing, though.
13.  You have the coolest room in the house for your bedroom. You're welcome.
14.  Real life, while much more difficult that the role-play activities that you love, is harder, but better most of the time and worth the hard work to "get it".
15.  My top birthday celebrations for you during your life were Disneyworld, the dress up party when you were 4, and today.  Why today, you ask?  Because you're here and I love you.
16. Routine is your friend.

17.  Don't ever forget Princess Bride, and the Muppets, and Even Stevens, and Hook, and The Bee Movie. And there are more - but I'm forgetting.
18.  Wear your Aspergirl Cape with pride and use it to right the wrongs towards Aspies everywhere.
19.  Miracles brought you to us.  Miracles have kept you with us.  Miracles will take you along your life's path if you let them.
20.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  It has blessed our family many times.  You are one of those blessings. I love you so very, very much.
Mom

The Queston you Live For?

Related to my last post:

daughter - Can I shampoo all the furniture?

me - um.... sure!

daughter - yay!  I'll get started right away.

me - Are you ok???

Gotta love this, too!!

Anime and Aspergirl ....and Then There's Me

A day in the life of my aspie and me:

[Necessary background knowledge - there are two Anime conventions coming up, one in February called "Katsucon" and one in July, called "Otakon".   These are for those who love and live for Japanese animation, called Anime.   Most convention attendees of all ages dress up in their favorite characters.  Many spends hundreds of dollars buying and/or hours creating the perfect costume.  This is a land full of Aspergers people, with pure fantasy and acceptance of who they are, regardless of obsession, nerdiness, or social abilities.  This is a land that L walked into in July and we have yet to retrieve her.  She had such a great time when she attended that she has spent nearly every day since then planning for the next one.  Part of her costume was already made for Halloween and for Katsucon.  However, a new one must be made for Otakon....]

Now, with that background, we march into today's dialogue:

L - Can I order my ocarina and Legend of Zelda costume things now?  I've saved up money for part of it.
me - we need to talk about your budget first
L -(after 5 minutes) ok, so we talked about it.  Can I order my stuff now?
me - no, we aren't finished yet.
~~~~
(Later, after reality set in about the high costs of things desired for the Otakon costume)
L- I decided to make the rest of my costume.  Will you help me?
me - absolutely, but the convention isn't until July, so I'm not working on it with you until January.
L - ok, so here is what I need.....
me - ok but can we wait until January to plan it?
L - sure, but let me describe the sword and the sword sheath for you.....
~~~~
me - what are you going to cook for dinner tonight?
L - Japanese Stir Fry.   Please buy the Japanese vegetable package at the store.
~~~
me - what books did you get at the library?
L - two manga books and two books on how to speak Japanese.
~~~~
me - what are you drawing?
L - my comic strip where I am with Link in the Zelda world (Link is a character from Legend of Zelda, the one she is creating the costume for.).
me - oh ok.....

This is the first "Link" costume.  She made the whole thing except for the ears and wig.  I only helped a little. 

~~~~
L - I'm going to look on Ebay to see if I can find that ocarina for a cheaper price.  Can I do that now?   OH, here are a couple of websites where it is cheaper.  OH, the Ebay bidding starts at 7 bucks.  Can I bid now?
me - you have to leave for work in 10 minutes.
L - ok, I'll do it later.
L- (half way to work...) OH NO - I forgot my name tag and apron!
me - I'll bail you out one time.  I'll go get them for you.
L - thank you!  Wow - I don't know how I forgot that.  I never forget them.
me - well, you were obsessing over the ocarina this morning, so I'm thinking that your apron and tag weren't on your mind.
L - ugh.  you're probably right.  I'm so sorry.
me - it's ok.  It will all work out.
 ~~~~
me - doesn't Kathryn have an Ocarina that you can borrow?
L - she has two but neither is the right one.
me - what difference does it make?  It's a costume - who will know?
L - anyone who plays the game will know.
me -well, if I played the game, I would not know that the ocarina you had with your costume was the right one, nor would I care.
L - well, these people care.  I care.  They will notice, believe me.
me - yea - I believe you.  I should know better than to even question the importance of details....

Halloween - with Kathryn, who has the wrong Ocarina....

~~~~
me - (after  words and frustrations regarding budgeting and make up....) what are you upset about?
L - I am just trying to make you happy.
me - why do you think you have to make me happy?
L - because I never do anything right.   What, was I too "me" when we talked about the budget?
me - what do you mean "too me"?
L - too aspie?
me - not at all.  I thought you handled the discussion perfectly.  Sometimes I just need a break after talking about money - ask Dad.  It's true.
L - oh ok.  So it's not my fault that you got mad?
me - I wasn't mad.
L - I thought you were mad.
me - no, I just needed a break.
L - oh, well did you need a break because of me?'
me  - NO, I wasn't angry.  I just needed a break.  But this is starting to make me a little angry.
L - I'M SORRY!!
me - it's ok.  Everything is fine.  You handled the money situation very well.
L - oh, ok.  Thanks.  So can we order that stuff now?
~~~~
I adore my aspie girl, or "aspergirl".   She is a delight most of the time.  She has had some extremely hard knocks in her young life.  I often find her challenges to be very unfair, and it takes a lot of faith on her part and ours to keep walking one step at a time through them.  However, I am convinced that once she gets through the teen years and gets some college under her belt, she will find that her "quirks" will take her on a road of great satisfaction and success.

She just might have to WAIT a little while.....

Post Script - Aspergirl approved this message - after correcting my spelling and part of the story.  

Jumping

I don't really know what to write here, except that I need to write something.  I refer back to this post wherein I described a fear of L doing a little "jumping".  Those fears have become reality.  She chose to not catch herself.  We can no longer catch her if she is unwilling for us to do so.  As Hubby and I deal with free-falling into a reality we did not choose, and one we fought mightily against, we wait for a phone call that she is now ready to be caught.   We are not sure where that phone call will come from, nor if it will in fact come at all.

How do parents deal with these types of situations? I'm still not sure.  I never, ever saw myself in this type of position.  I don't mean to be cryptic, but I really don't want to "air it all out" here.  I count myself blessed to know that many friends are praying for us and for her.  That is all anyone can do at this point.   Yet, who wants to be in a position where YOU are the one being prayed for, and worried about?  I don't want to be.  I'd rather be praying for someone else. Surely that is one of the keys.  That is what the gospel teaches.

We'll just have to wait a little while.....or, maybe a really long one this time.

Graduation

I am about to walk out the door and drive to my baby's high school graduation.   I am not ready for this.  Ok, I am clothed and have a fabulous skirt on - and my hair even looks great for this horribly humid day.  But I am not ready.  She thinks she is ready, but I know she is not.  I probably thought I was ready back in 1902 when I graduated (no, that's not a typo - tee hee).   Since Aspergers is so very prevalent in her dear life, she thinks that she is 18 and now a graduate and by golly, she is ready to make ALL decisions and do whatever she wants.  That scares me.  It should scare her.  Actually, I think it does and so she is not so calm, cool and collected these days.  I'm not either. 

Her dad reminded me of how, when she was a toddler, she would climb and climb to the top of the jungle gyms with no fear.  We would have to stand underneath her and with great fear and anticipation, we would be there to catch her if she fell.  We were there to save her from herself, from her thinking that she could handle anything.  Well, we are back there again.  We are ready to stand ready to catch her.  This time, she doesn't want us there.  This time, the stakes are higher.  This time, the consequences could be more than a scratch or a bruise.  This time, we have to pray that we have done enough, and turn it over to Heavenly Father in prayer.  

This time, she may have to catch herself.  We'll have to wait and see if she will. 

Prom Packaging

L is a Senior.  Last night her prom was held.  It was her first.  She looked like a slightly "punk" Cinderella.  Gorgeous.  She didn't leave school early to attend a spa or have her hair and nails done and her body scrubbed.  Many girls do that - I don't really get that, and she doesn't either.  "This isn't a wedding" was our mantra.  Thank Heavens - on multiple levels.   

We started prom dress shopping in March.  She has no problem keeping the standards of dress that our church follows.  Finding a dress on this side of the country that honors that is much more difficult.  While I could have sewn one for her myself, or ordered one online from some companies who support dressing modestly,  we decided to shop for a dress and see if it would be fairly simple to modify.  I have several friends who have done that, so I figured I could do that as well.

L is wonderful to shop with.  She knows what she wants and when she sees it, she's done.   When she was  younger, that bothered me - I wanted more of an  "experience" shopping with my daughter.  You know - "hmmmm.... well, let's see what the other 50 stores have before we get THAT one".  Nope - she wasn't having it.   I now appreciate that talent in her very much.  I wish I had it.  When we walked into the first store the first time shopping, she saw it, loved it, tried it on, and we bought it and were done!  Sweet.

Here is what it looked like before:

And here is the after.  I like the black satin sleeves - I think they "add" to the look, besides covering up my daughter:

They were pretty easy to slip-stitch in.  Because L is only 5'1", I had to also take up the length.  I did that by just folding up and matching seems and layers that were already in the dress, and tacking them in place.  The affect it had was to make it much more poofy and "cinderella-ish".  Worked for her!

She looked like a princess and had a wonderful evening.  Maybe we'll add a photo of her and the "boy".... and,  maybe not.  You'll have to WAIT and see.... :)

3 in 1

Today has been quite the day.  Three important events have occured, none of which have anything to do with the other.  Still, all three impact my life and my family's lives in crucial ways.

First, the Health Care bill passed in Congress.   I do not support this bill.  I do not want more government control of my life.  I do not want my future grandchildren to pay for this "great idea".  I do think health care has big issues and needs some fixing, but not like this.  I blog about all of that in another place.  So, keep reading....

Second, I was asked to serve in a new calling in my church.  For my readers of other faiths, women in my church are members of the Relief Society.   It is the oldest and largest women's organization in the world as far as records show.   Our church's members are divided up in congregations based on where people live, called wards.  Those wards are then organized together into what are called stakes - usually 6-9 congregations form a stake.   Well, I was asked to serve as the Relief Society President over our stake - which includes about 1,000 LDS women.  I accepted that request to serve.  I look forward to the many experiences that lie ahead of me and to meeting all the great women who live within these boundaries.  It is a big responsbility, but I have faith that the Lord will bless me and help me to rise to the occasion.

Third, and most importantly, today is L's Day.  My wonderful precious children (who are now of adult age) are adopted.  18 years ago today, my precious daughter joined our family.  We prayed for her for so many years to hurry up and come to us.   She was 8 weeks old when I finally got to hold her and kiss her and sing to her.

All I could see were her gorgeous dark eyes with dark eyebrows and long eyelashes. 

She was beautiful.  She still is.  

She blesses my life every day.  Our family tradition is that we celebrate our children's "Day" with cakes, carefully personalized meal choices, and discussion of the day they "came home".  We had to postpone the celebration for this year because....L is sick.

Fear not - the tradition will continue as long as my "babies" will allow.

(bottom photo by Kellie Nuss Photography)

Reacting to "Reactionary"

This morning L informed me that she joined a certain club at school.  Today would be the first meeting during 4th period.  She spoke it to  me calmly as if it was a meeting of a little quilting group or a group to discuss the scriptures or something.  I assure you it was not.

All the parenting skills I have worked SO very hard to attain went out the window.  While she was away at the school last year to help us all cope with her challenges, we had intensive parent training, which I have mentioned before.  My voice got louder, my breathing quickened, my emotions came to the surface.  I went back to the OLD me.  Ugh.  Hate that.

Rest assured -we worked through it.  We got back to "baseline" and became "regulated" once again.  She forgave me for over-reacting.  I mean, come on - it wasn't a club to blow up the world or anything.  It was, however, one that I would not choose for her.

Fortunately by the end of the conversation, she was saying, "hmm....maybe I won't go.  Maybe you are right".  Music to a mother's ears.  Either way, she is old enough to choose.  She has been taught.  She knows.  Now the ball is in her court.

After this episode, as I beat myself up for a few minutes, I thought, "AHHH.... I was SO REACTIONARY".   Reactionary?  Where have I heard that word before?  I thought I had heard it from former therapists who were teaching me to NOT overreact to things.  I decided to look it up at dictionary.com.

Here is the definition they give:

adjective

1.	of, pertaining to, marked by, or favoring reaction, esp. extreme conservatism or rightism in politics; opposing political or social change.

 

I then looked up several other dictionaries.  They all pretty much said the same things. 

So, because I am a political-thinking person, I had to then evaluate my politics!  Am I reactionary?  Hmm....

I am definitely opposed to some types of change.  I am against anything that takes our country down a socialist or radical road.  I am against things that take us away from God, believing that this country was founded upon God's principles.  So does that mean that reactionary is the opposite of radical?  I don't view myself as extreme.   

Maybe, just maybe, there is a radical left-wing conspiracy to change all the dictionaries in the world to make the word "reactionary" have an extremely negative political connotation.

Just teasing ya.

What is your personal definition to reactionary?  Do you see these definitions as correct, based on your background and experience?

Costumers are Here

Gone are the days of teaching school and decorating my classroom full of goblins, spiders, jack- o- lanterns and eery creatures.  Can public school teachers even whisper the words, "Happy Halloween" anymore?  Craziness - that was back in the 80s when that wasn't such a horrible, evil thing.

Also in the past are days and days of planning and prepping for my kids' costumes. Many times I sewed their costumes - until B was about 11 and L was.....hm.... can't remember.  Oh wait - that is because I still SEW them for her!!  We have skipped a year or two, but she loves the homemade ones still - I am grateful for that, even though I procrastinate and then stress out.  Why do moms do that?  You'd think that now that I am FIFTY I would have figured that out.

  Alas, I have not.

This year we did plan ahead since she wanted us to go to the Renaissance Festival.  Here is L in her 17- year -old Fairy Sweet and Innocence:

  And then, on All Hallows Eve, she changed her mind.....hmm......those brainy brain cells got to thinking and planning and thinking and planning.  I said, "OH no - I have already made ONE costume for you this year, you are on your own now!"

And she came up with this:

Clever girl!   She enjoyed sitting on the porch with her dad freaking out young and old.  Goulish Girly fun. And then, her HULK of a bud came over and freaked us out.  Not that he was goulish -
 he was Bill Clinton.

 

You know, that hulk of a president?  What a riot. Two goofs goofing.  Perfect. 

My heart was full of jack-o-lantern joy.

Unexpected Blessings from Unwelcomed Chaos

Brian left for Ydaho this morning.  Barely.  Barely made it.  NOT his fault.  I dutifully printed off his boarding pass yesterday, being the organized mom that I claim to be (notice I didn't say that I AM).   I have had it in my head for weeks that his flight was at 9:50.  However, it was not.  It was at 9 O' CLOCK!!! Unbelievable.

I decided to check the flight status this morning -you know, to make sure it was leaving on time.  I went into shock as I read the correct time over and over and over.  And OVER.   Richard left very early for work - he was not here to add to the craziness help.   Les was getting ready for school - she goes on auto-pilot and does a great job with that.  However - two concerns haunted me. 1 - with her Aspergers, she often does not adapt well to sudden chaos and can become very "disregulated" emotionally.  And 2 - one of her learning challenges causes her to have difficulty paying attention to the clock.  Realizing that she would have to do all that without my grand leadership, would she be ready for the bus and get to it on time?  Sound like excuses?  Nope - it's the reality of our lives.  

We sped through all the roundabouts (annoying), farm roads and freeways.   I swore under my breath at the people in my way.  Did I say "Swore"?  I called Rich at work and cried to asked him if he could leave work and go ahead of us to the airport - maybe see if he could pave the way with Southwest.  I had this grand illusion that if they were expecting Brian to be late, they might be ready to help us.  Brian had a lot of luggage - it would be tough for him to make it alone, and I wouldn't have time to park the care to assist him.  I felt SOOOO horrible.  

Richard made it.  He worked magic.   Martha at Southwest was a Queen.  I love you, Martha.  Leslie rose to the occasion, no feathers ruffled.   Brian made it through security without a hitch.  They boarded the flight a little late so he still had time.  Now if his luggage makes it on that flight....

My grown up son never got nasty with at me - he was frustrated, as he should be. He had every right to be yelling and screaming.  He never spoke in anger or got ruffled.  He offered encouraging words (and a little back-seat driving) all along the way.  

My 17 year old daughter proved me wrong yet again.  She did what needed to be done and showed me that she has grown in leaps and bounds. 

My husband dropped everything and came to our rescue.  He never got mad at me - only showed compassion for my frustration and my embarrassment, and for my tears.  I love him.

 

Blessings, blessings, blessings.  Heavenly Father is good.  I learned from this.

And now I need to take a nap and maybe eat a little chocolate - whew. 

Pioneer Day Eve Update

Well, here is what happened with the Pioneer clothing. My good friend Diane loaned us this outfit: (WARNING - Pioneer outfit model should be treated as a hostile witness, your Honor).

Thank you, Diane!! The white blouse was one of the Goodwill Finds.

Below is the outfit I DID create. The hostile model chose yellow fabric in a non-hostile moment:


It all looks better in person. I also made pretty cool bloomers out of jammie bottoms. One pair looked like this - you know, for patriotic purposes:

The other pair I made had big yelllow chickies. LOVE them. Forgot to photograph them. Gotta be a little unconventional, you know?

Happy Pioneer Day - a little early.

(Ok, she wasn't really "hostile", she just wasn't too happy about wearing pioneer clothes for 4 days. Can't blame her for that.)

Song, Dance, Cookie Jars and Sunshine

We recently got back from yes, another trip to Utah, for a Parents Weekend at Leslie's school. It was time for another evening of entertainment by all the girls. They LIVE for these events. These are their moments to SHINE - moments that have perhaps come too seldom before.

Look at these adorable faces!

Leslie got to perform one of her favorite songs from Aida, "Every Story Is A Love Story". She did a beautiful job - complete with back-up dancers!

It was also time for a Mother/Daughter outing to the pottery store. Our assignment was to express ways that we are the same, and ways that we are different. We chose a cookie jar shaped like a cupcake because we love to bake together. We have a running joke between us that she is "random" and I am "symmetrical" in our style of living. That causes a few mother/daughter conflicts as you might imagine. We are both learning to appreciate those differences and let that bring us to common ground. So, I painted the bottom in, yes - you guessed it - a symmetrical way. She painted the top in random colors and style. Come and see it when we get it back from being fired and mailed!!

We also took a Sunday afternoon drive to see the new Draper LDS temple. Very pretty, especially at sunset. Here are my attempts at artsy photography....
I have a lot to learn, but it was fun to try!

Blessings galore.