As I've mentioned, January is a bittersweet month for me. This week I have tried to actually utilize those lists I make - I did pretty well. Letting go of guilt over what I don't get done, and trying to feel positive about what I DO accomplish is my never-ending issue.
To help with that, I am trying to deal with all of the scrapbooking/keepsake organizing that I don't do. DO NOT ask me how much of my own children's scrapbookng is done. I won't answer you. The last post I made here shows that I am trying to work that out in a way that is positive and organized, and will still bring them joy into their adult years.
I did really well last year taking a lot of photos. I know I won't scrapbook that many of them. I decided to use my Shutterfly membership and will make a photobook for last year. Today I uploaded all of my 2009 photos to the website. I will be ready to make that book any time now! I hope to continue the tradition each year to come.
Awesome. You'll have to WAIT to see it, though....
Friday, January 15, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Kangaroom Love
Oh, Goodness! Have you seen this website? I found it in BHG magazine. Love this stuff....dang, should have seen it before Christmas. I think I need to order some of these to hold all the things I know I will never get around to scrapbooking:
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Oh, No - It's THAT Time of Year
Are you a New Year's Resolution Person? I am not. I am not a goal-setter. I know, after 50 years, you'd think I'd have this figured out. Sorry to disappoint you. My thoughts turn to this today as I read my friend Kellie's blog about reading other blogs about this issue. She has great points - check it out. Kellie is one wise woman. Gosh - and she is barely 40. Dang.
I did not like Personal Progress when I was in Young Womens (shhh.... don't tell L.) (Oh, and it was called something else back then but I can't remember now what it was...!). I didn't get very far. I felt like a failure before I got anywhere. Not to embarrass her, and I don't even think she reads this, but my niece Bailee, who is 22, also blogged about goals, resolutions, etc. and it reminded me a lot of how I was at her age- full of hope about a future amazing self. She forgets perhaps that she is already pretty amazing and has made it through some difficult times. More difficult times will come, and she will continue to shine. As a college student, I would also make lists and lists of all the goals I was going to accomplish. By the 6th of January I would have already blown it so many times that I quit trying. Great.
My missionary trainer, whom I refer to as "Sargeant Miller" was a very goal-oriented over-achiever. She was a good missionary. She got the job done. She taught me what SHE did every Sunday to make goals for the upcoming week. Being a greenie, I figured that is what I needed to do as well. Lists of goals grew as the weeks went on. If I didn't get them perfect every day, I felt like I failed. I then quit trying. Fortunately, I learned later in my misson that it was okay for our definitions of a "great missionary" to be different, and I quit torturing myself with long lists. I just tried to follow the Spirit. Worked pretty well.
So, while in January I am always excited to start back into routines and get my house freshened and decluttered, the dark, short winter days wreak havoc with my moods (I now have one of those cool SAD lights that helps with that! Love it). But to set a list of goals that I know will probably not be accomplished is just no longer for me.
A couple of years ago when I served as Relief Society President, I had to teach a lesson on the 1st of January. I knew that resolutions would be on the minds of many. I was drawn to a talk by Sister Anne Pingree (who happens to be the aunt of one of my readers!) which is entitled, "Knowing the Lord's Will for You". Here is one of my favorite quotes, as she quotes Neal A. Maxwell:
I start where my journey ended—in this sublime truth taught by Elder Neal A. Maxwell: “The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give,’ … are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!”
I did not like Personal Progress when I was in Young Womens (shhh.... don't tell L.) (Oh, and it was called something else back then but I can't remember now what it was...!). I didn't get very far. I felt like a failure before I got anywhere. Not to embarrass her, and I don't even think she reads this, but my niece Bailee, who is 22, also blogged about goals, resolutions, etc. and it reminded me a lot of how I was at her age- full of hope about a future amazing self. She forgets perhaps that she is already pretty amazing and has made it through some difficult times. More difficult times will come, and she will continue to shine. As a college student, I would also make lists and lists of all the goals I was going to accomplish. By the 6th of January I would have already blown it so many times that I quit trying. Great.
My missionary trainer, whom I refer to as "Sargeant Miller" was a very goal-oriented over-achiever. She was a good missionary. She got the job done. She taught me what SHE did every Sunday to make goals for the upcoming week. Being a greenie, I figured that is what I needed to do as well. Lists of goals grew as the weeks went on. If I didn't get them perfect every day, I felt like I failed. I then quit trying. Fortunately, I learned later in my misson that it was okay for our definitions of a "great missionary" to be different, and I quit torturing myself with long lists. I just tried to follow the Spirit. Worked pretty well.
So, while in January I am always excited to start back into routines and get my house freshened and decluttered, the dark, short winter days wreak havoc with my moods (I now have one of those cool SAD lights that helps with that! Love it). But to set a list of goals that I know will probably not be accomplished is just no longer for me.
A couple of years ago when I served as Relief Society President, I had to teach a lesson on the 1st of January. I knew that resolutions would be on the minds of many. I was drawn to a talk by Sister Anne Pingree (who happens to be the aunt of one of my readers!) which is entitled, "Knowing the Lord's Will for You". Here is one of my favorite quotes, as she quotes Neal A. Maxwell:
I start where my journey ended—in this sublime truth taught by Elder Neal A. Maxwell: “The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give,’ … are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!”
I need to remember to ask the Lord what HE wants me to accomplish, what goals I should set - what He wants me to be and to where He wants me to get.
I still make little lists. I make lists of things I need to get done. I still have goals for the weeks, but they are simpler: "Point out the positive", "Give the family PEACE throughout Christmas Eve and Christmas with no yelling and no stressing out" (you know, before the big Misfit Party),"Show Love", and some weeks, all it is, is "Get Through It". I can do those things. I did those things. I felt lifted and confident.
And of course, there is the perennial, eternal - Lose 50 lbs by June....
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Future Visits of the Mom
B leaves today to go back to college. I have loved his visit more than I can express.
However, it has caused the following ponderings.
When my kids grow up and move out permanently, I am going to visit their homes and will do the following:
unplug cords and lamps so I can charge my computer and my phone and my ipod.
break their toilets so they won't flush.
be sure to plant a money tree in their back yard.
fix meals and leave all my stuff out.
rearrange the furniture to suit my needs and comforts.
take their car to get my stuff done.
sleep in a different room every night so I can surprise them in the morning.
use my bed as a "desk" so I HAVE to sleep in a different room every night.
use their library cards to check out 8 million movies, cds, etc.
go to the grocery store with them so they can buy me tons of great stuff - and I will kindly leave them all that I cannot finish.
leave lots of my collectibles and ask them to store them for me for about....forever.
tease each family member individually to the point that everyone is kept guessing.
skype into the wee hours of the morning, laughing uproariously.
give each family member lots of love and attention, and won't visit friends because I will really just want to enjoy precious family time.
When my kids grow up and move out permanently, I will miss them every minute of every day.
However, it has caused the following ponderings.
When my kids grow up and move out permanently, I am going to visit their homes and will do the following:
unplug cords and lamps so I can charge my computer and my phone and my ipod.
break their toilets so they won't flush.
be sure to plant a money tree in their back yard.
fix meals and leave all my stuff out.
rearrange the furniture to suit my needs and comforts.
take their car to get my stuff done.
sleep in a different room every night so I can surprise them in the morning.
use my bed as a "desk" so I HAVE to sleep in a different room every night.
use their library cards to check out 8 million movies, cds, etc.
go to the grocery store with them so they can buy me tons of great stuff - and I will kindly leave them all that I cannot finish.
leave lots of my collectibles and ask them to store them for me for about....forever.
tease each family member individually to the point that everyone is kept guessing.
skype into the wee hours of the morning, laughing uproariously.
give each family member lots of love and attention, and won't visit friends because I will really just want to enjoy precious family time.
When my kids grow up and move out permanently, I will miss them every minute of every day.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
More Christmas Thoughts
Wow - what a great Christmas we enjoyed. Those of you who know us and who read this blog know that the past couple of Christmases were very emotional and somewhat difficult. We missed our missionary son very much, and our daughter had had some pretty severe challenges.
But going back to my previous post about traditions, I'll give you an update. Ironically, B came home from college and said, "hey! Where are those little stockings that hang up to countdown to Christmas?" And, "Wow - we didn't even do one of those cardboard chocolate countdown thingies"! After I picked myself off the floor, I was happy to know that he had a memory of those and that they DID matter. I just may put them back up next year. We even led the old hubby to realize that, as many of you pointed out to me, it's okay for traditions to change.
A few traditions that will stay:
New Christmas jammies - I know many people have this one. I got them every Christmas during my years at home with parents on Christmas Eve. Mom would only let me open ONE present then, and of course it always happened to be jammies, and she would say, "Oh, my goodness! Christmas jammies! What a surprise!" I have continued the same reaction with my kids ever since they were little. This year we opted for ones that were not matching. They show our individuality - love them.
Puff Pancakes - this started with Hubby's family. We love them on Christmas morning.
There are of course more, but those are worth mentioning here.
A couple of new ones:
We decided at the last minute that we wanted to just enjoy being the four of us on Christmas Day. I hadn't planned ahead, so I had no Christmas dinner food. So we of COURSE opted for Chinese food, playing off another tradition of watching "The Christmas Story". Yum!
Hubby was given the gift of tickets to a local dinner theater for the whole family to enjoy a delicious buffet and the production of "White Christmas". We attended the day after Christmas. It was so very enjoyable.
I don't actually know if those will become actual traditions, but they both made for great memories.
What might change:
As I wrote in that same previous post linked above, for about 12 years, we have had what we affectionately call our Christmas Eve "Misfit" party. (NO offense to any of you who have attended!!). We consider ourselves east coast misfits - we have no family living anywhere near us. This party tradition came about for two reasons - one, when our children were little, we wanted to be with someone on Christmas Eve to help us all not be quite so lonely and to not miss our extended family so much. And two, we had a large amount of "transplants" in our ward who were in our area without family. We didn't want them to be lonely and sad at Christmastime. So, we started the first year with about 20 people or so, and some years it ballooned into close to 50. Yes, 50. This became our Christmas service to many around us. We also felt the blessing of being with them - they blessed us back! Many of you who read this blog have attended. These moments helped to bond us all together as family, even if it was just for one evening.
Now that our children are older, it doesn't have the same feel any more. Our family is changing, and so are those families of close friends who have attended every year since the beginning. While we enjoyed the evening very much every year and this year as well, perhaps this tradition will also become a memory. I will, however, be worrying about those children who don't know Christmas Eve any differently other than coming to our home to be a msifit, too.
We'll just have to WAIT a little while and see.
This year, both kids were home, happy and healthy. Such blessings.
But going back to my previous post about traditions, I'll give you an update. Ironically, B came home from college and said, "hey! Where are those little stockings that hang up to countdown to Christmas?" And, "Wow - we didn't even do one of those cardboard chocolate countdown thingies"! After I picked myself off the floor, I was happy to know that he had a memory of those and that they DID matter. I just may put them back up next year. We even led the old hubby to realize that, as many of you pointed out to me, it's okay for traditions to change.
A few traditions that will stay:
There are of course more, but those are worth mentioning here.
A couple of new ones:
Hubby was given the gift of tickets to a local dinner theater for the whole family to enjoy a delicious buffet and the production of "White Christmas". We attended the day after Christmas. It was so very enjoyable.
What might change:
As I wrote in that same previous post linked above, for about 12 years, we have had what we affectionately call our Christmas Eve "Misfit" party. (NO offense to any of you who have attended!!). We consider ourselves east coast misfits - we have no family living anywhere near us. This party tradition came about for two reasons - one, when our children were little, we wanted to be with someone on Christmas Eve to help us all not be quite so lonely and to not miss our extended family so much. And two, we had a large amount of "transplants" in our ward who were in our area without family. We didn't want them to be lonely and sad at Christmastime. So, we started the first year with about 20 people or so, and some years it ballooned into close to 50. Yes, 50. This became our Christmas service to many around us. We also felt the blessing of being with them - they blessed us back! Many of you who read this blog have attended. These moments helped to bond us all together as family, even if it was just for one evening.
Now that our children are older, it doesn't have the same feel any more. Our family is changing, and so are those families of close friends who have attended every year since the beginning. While we enjoyed the evening very much every year and this year as well, perhaps this tradition will also become a memory. I will, however, be worrying about those children who don't know Christmas Eve any differently other than coming to our home to be a msifit, too.
We'll just have to WAIT a little while and see.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Christmas Changes
Should family Christmas traditions change? I'm not sure, but I think some of ours are changing without my permission. How does that happen?
I love advent count-downs to Christmas. One of my favorites is made from little stockings with stars and numbers. I made it with lots of love and care for my little ones about 13 years ago. Each year I carefully chose the candies to go in each stocking, and when they came home from school, we would all take fun moments together to peer inside and get our treat for the day. Well, for the 4th year leading up to Christmas, B is not even here (do 21- year- olds care about such things anyway?). L didn't care if it was up or not. Hubby wasn't a bit sad about it not being included this year. We always buy one of those cheesy chocolate count-down things you can find at the party store. Didn't buy one this year.
Every year we go to the Messiah Sing Along. It has always been a birthday gift to Hubby. It is his all-time favorite family thing to do. We actually started attending years ago before our children were born. L didn't want to go - adamantly did NOT want to go. Do you make a 17 year old go? We didn't-oh, and she had a REALLY bad headache on the day of the performance. Hmm.... Hubby was very sad about all of that, and so was I. I tried to be brave and assure him that things change and it's ok-but I wasn't really feelin' it.
We have lived away from family our entire married lives. About 10 oir 12 years ago, we began having a big Christmas Eve party, welcoming those around us who also would be spending the holidays without family. It became our yearly service to others, our tradition--our way of not missing family so much. This year, even that changes. One of the families that has joined us every year since the beginning will not be attending. Their family has changed - grandbabies have come along and daughters-in-law have "say". While I completely understand, it causes us sadness.
The party will continue this year, at least for one more time.
This weekend as I started putting up the decorations, and as I began preparing for decorating the tree tonight, I wondered why in the world I go to so much work? It's not magical anymore as it once was. When grandchildren do come along some day, they probably won't live near us. Cue the violins....The pity party has begun.
As I begin entering this new phase of life, I don't really like it too much right now. I have to search for new ways to cherish this time of year. I don't know how to do that. I must be really shallow.
Guess I'll have to WAIT a little while.
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