Monday, December 7, 2009

Christmas Changes

Should family Christmas traditions change?  I'm not sure, but I think some of ours are changing without my permission.  How does that happen?

I love advent count-downs to Christmas.  One of my favorites is made from little stockings with stars and numbers.  I made it with lots of love and care for my little ones about 13 years ago.  Each year I carefully chose the candies to go in each stocking, and when they came home from school, we would all take fun moments together to peer inside and get our treat for the day.  Well, for the 4th year leading up to Christmas, B is not even here (do 21- year- olds care about such things anyway?).  L didn't care if it was up or not.  Hubby wasn't a bit sad about it not being included this year.  We always buy one of those cheesy chocolate count-down things you can find at the party store.  Didn't buy one this year.

Every year we go to the Messiah Sing Along.  It has always been a birthday gift to Hubby.  It is his all-time favorite family thing to do.  We actually started attending years ago before our children were born.  L didn't want to go - adamantly did NOT want to go.  Do you make a 17 year old go?  We didn't-oh, and she had a REALLY bad headache on the day of the performance.  Hmm.... Hubby was very sad about all of that, and so was I.  I tried to be brave and assure him that things change and it's ok-but I wasn't really feelin' it.

We have lived away from family our entire married lives.  About 10 oir 12 years ago, we began having a big Christmas Eve party,  welcoming those around us who also would be spending the holidays without family.  It became our yearly service to others, our tradition--our way of not missing family so much.  This year, even that changes.  One of the families that has joined us every year since the beginning will not be attending.  Their family has changed - grandbabies have come along and daughters-in-law have "say".  While I completely understand, it causes us sadness.

The party will continue this year, at least for one more time.

This weekend as I started putting up the decorations, and as I began preparing for decorating the tree tonight, I wondered why in the world I go to so much work?  It's not magical anymore as it once was.  When grandchildren do come along some day, they probably won't live near us.  Cue the violins....The pity party has begun.

As I begin entering this new phase of life, I don't really like it too much right now.  I have to search for new ways to cherish this time of year.  I don't know how to do that.  I must be really shallow.

Guess I'll have to WAIT a little while.


  1. Awww Deon, you made me cry. I haven't felt "in the spirit" of Christmas this year either. Our advent events didn't get planned, a bunch of ornaments have already been put aside to be sent to Santa's Workshop for fixin' (and it's only been 1 day), and my VT companion and one of my VT's have each unfriended me on FB. How sad, huh?

    Traditions do change. Ask L. to come up with a new one that she can get excited about. And you and your hubby should do the same.

    I too miss the Messiah Sing Along. Wish they had one here.

  2. Oh Deon, yes, you will have to wait a little while. Don't force the traditions. In the meantime, find delight in the newness of life, there is much to cherish. New, unexpected traditions may arise. All is well, this is the way it is supposed to be as our children become their own adults. We will not decorate our tree until Emma comes to visit on the 20th or 21st. After Christmas, Audrey moves out and our lives will change, yet again.

  3. I love you! Your Christmas Eve party was so wonderful the year we stayed in Maryland. I am sorry things are changing. xoxo

  4. Amy, thanks for the ideas. Dana - your wise counsel is accepted. Emily - thanks for the sympathies.

    To all my girls - thanks for the love. Life is full of change. I will get through this and quite possibly embrace it very soon. OK, maybe not SOON, but eventually!


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