Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Anime and Aspergirl ....and Then There's Me

A day in the life of my aspie and me:

[Necessary background knowledge - there are two Anime conventions coming up, one in February called "Katsucon" and one in July, called "Otakon".   These are for those who love and live for Japanese animation, called Anime.   Most convention attendees of all ages dress up in their favorite characters.  Many spends hundreds of dollars buying and/or hours creating the perfect costume.  This is a land full of Aspergers people, with pure fantasy and acceptance of who they are, regardless of obsession, nerdiness, or social abilities.  This is a land that L walked into in July and we have yet to retrieve her.  She had such a great time when she attended that she has spent nearly every day since then planning for the next one.  Part of her costume was already made for Halloween and for Katsucon.  However, a new one must be made for Otakon....]

Now, with that background, we march into today's dialogue:

L - Can I order my ocarina and Legend of Zelda costume things now?  I've saved up money for part of it.
me - we need to talk about your budget first
L -(after 5 minutes) ok, so we talked about it.  Can I order my stuff now?
me - no, we aren't finished yet.
(Later, after reality set in about the high costs of things desired for the Otakon costume)
L- I decided to make the rest of my costume.  Will you help me?
me - absolutely, but the convention isn't until July, so I'm not working on it with you until January.
L - ok, so here is what I need.....
me - ok but can we wait until January to plan it?
L - sure, but let me describe the sword and the sword sheath for you.....
me - what are you going to cook for dinner tonight?
L - Japanese Stir Fry.   Please buy the Japanese vegetable package at the store.
me - what books did you get at the library?
L - two manga books and two books on how to speak Japanese.
me - what are you drawing?
L - my comic strip where I am with Link in the Zelda world (Link is a character from Legend of Zelda, the one she is creating the costume for.).
me - oh ok.....
This is the first "Link" costume.  She made the whole thing except for the ears and wig.  I only helped a little. 
L - I'm going to look on Ebay to see if I can find that ocarina for a cheaper price.  Can I do that now?   OH, here are a couple of websites where it is cheaper.  OH, the Ebay bidding starts at 7 bucks.  Can I bid now?
me - you have to leave for work in 10 minutes.
L - ok, I'll do it later.
L- (half way to work...) OH NO - I forgot my name tag and apron!
me - I'll bail you out one time.  I'll go get them for you.
L - thank you!  Wow - I don't know how I forgot that.  I never forget them.
me - well, you were obsessing over the ocarina this morning, so I'm thinking that your apron and tag weren't on your mind.
L - ugh.  you're probably right.  I'm so sorry.
me - it's ok.  It will all work out.
me - doesn't Kathryn have an Ocarina that you can borrow?
L - she has two but neither is the right one.
me - what difference does it make?  It's a costume - who will know?
L - anyone who plays the game will know.
me -well, if I played the game, I would not know that the ocarina you had with your costume was the right one, nor would I care.
L - well, these people care.  I care.  They will notice, believe me.
me - yea - I believe you.  I should know better than to even question the importance of details....
Halloween - with Kathryn, who has the wrong Ocarina....
me - (after  words and frustrations regarding budgeting and make up....) what are you upset about?
L - I am just trying to make you happy.
me - why do you think you have to make me happy?
L - because I never do anything right.   What, was I too "me" when we talked about the budget?
me - what do you mean "too me"?
L - too aspie?
me - not at all.  I thought you handled the discussion perfectly.  Sometimes I just need a break after talking about money - ask Dad.  It's true.
L - oh ok.  So it's not my fault that you got mad?
me - I wasn't mad.
L - I thought you were mad.
me - no, I just needed a break.
L - oh, well did you need a break because of me?'
me  - NO, I wasn't angry.  I just needed a break.  But this is starting to make me a little angry.
me - it's ok.  Everything is fine.  You handled the money situation very well.
L - oh, ok.  Thanks.  So can we order that stuff now?
I adore my aspie girl, or "aspergirl".   She is a delight most of the time.  She has had some extremely hard knocks in her young life.  I often find her challenges to be very unfair, and it takes a lot of faith on her part and ours to keep walking one step at a time through them.  However, I am convinced that once she gets through the teen years and gets some college under her belt, she will find that her "quirks" will take her on a road of great satisfaction and success.

She just might have to WAIT a little while.....

Post Script - Aspergirl approved this message - after correcting my spelling and part of the story.  


  1. That was a great post.... I learned a lot from it. And it made me giggle at the end :-)

  2. I LOVE this post! I felt like I was right there, gosh, I love you guys!!!@

  3. Why did I get choked up while reading this post? I don't know. But I love you as a mother and I rarely get to see you in that role. And I think L is a delight. Tell her I speak Japanese and can help her anytime! I love that she is trying to learn it.

  4. Pardon the candor but I laughed through this whole post. (Entirely because I relate so fully.) Thank you for this sweet peek into your life.


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