a perky perk - "Bay"

While in Utah for Young Women's Conference, SHORT as the trip was, we spent a little time with my niece Bailee (Sorry, Laura - we'll catch you on the flip-flop). Bailee Bailee Bailee - what do I say about her? She is my youngest niece, a few months older than my son. Besides me, she is the only family member who has left Arizona longer than 10 minutes.

Hmm.... no wonder I feel like
I can relate to her.

Her father, my oldest brother Troy, passed away very suddenly about 2 1/2 years ago on Conference Sunday. I need to blog about him one day. I think that now that he is gone, and his children are now adults, I feel the need to attach to them more - have them be a part of my life. Living on the east coast has not made that very easy over the years. I won't get into the psychology of our family, but often those opportunities didn't present themselves more in years past. So, with our frequent trips to Utah to visit Les, we take the chances to snag time with family members who we miss so much.

Bailee is one amazing person - she can sing better than most people on Broadway, and is in BYU's Young Ambassadors. We saw her in Aida a few months ago, which I posted aobut here. She has wonderful aspirations to beautify home interiors, to sing, and to teach. She currently goes out to Les's school and teaches her voice lessons as often as possible. She lights up rooms when she walks in, and has an amazing ability to make everyone she meets, regardless of their "issues", to feel like they are amazing, too.

Bay, when you are rich and famous, please don't forget us little people
who love you.

You can get to know her on her blog at http://thebaybrink.blogspot.com/ .

Tell her I sent ya.

(Holy cow, Deon, get the stinkin' hair out of your eyes --- it was windy, OK??)

And, Yes, I like the word amazing amazingly a lot.

Somebody get me a thesaurus quick.

"Courage"

I had the privilege of going to Utah and accompanying my daughter to a wonderful, spiritual meeting - the General Young Women's Meeting.

It's a yearly event for LDS teenage girls and their moms where talks full of hope, love, expectations and encouragement are given just to them. We were accompanied by my wonderful sis in law, Janet and her adorable daughter Lolly (Ok, Lauren, but we all call her Lolly). We had an amazing time!!

Les said that her favorite talk was the one given by President Monson,
our prophet and president.

Her reason was that it felt like it was given "just for her". I think it will bless her life for a long time. Here are a few quotes from that talk, and a few photos.

"Although this is a remarkable period when opportunities abound, you also face challenges which are unique to this time. For instance, the very technological tools I have mentioned provide opportunities for the adversary to tempt you and to ensnare you in his web of deceit, thereby hoping to take possession of your destiny."

"May I speak first about the courage to refrain from judging others. Oh, you may ask, “Does this really take courage?” And I would reply that I believe there are many times when refraining from judgment—or gossip or criticism, which are certainly akin to judgment—takes an act of courage.
"Unfortunately, there are those who feel it necessary to criticize and to belittle others. You have, no doubt, been with such people, as you will be in the future. My dear young friends, we are not left to wonder what our behavior should be in such situations. In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior declared, “Judge not.” At a later time He admonished, “Cease to find fault one with another.” It will take real courage when you are surrounded by your peers and feeling the pressure to participate in such criticisms and judgments to refrain from joining in.

"I would venture to say that there are young women around you who, because of your unkind comments and criticism, are often left out. It seems to be the pattern, particularly at this time in your lives, to avoid or to be unkind to those who might be judged different, those who don’t fit the mold of what we or others think they should be.
"The Savior said: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. . . .“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” ...True love can alter human lives and change human nature.
"My precious young sisters, I plead with you to have the courage to refrain from judging and criticizing those around you, as well as the courage to make certain everyone is included and feels loved and valued.

"Great courage will be required as you remain chaste and virtuous amid the accepted thinking of the times.

"In the world’s view today there is little thought that young men and young women will remain morally clean and pure before marriage. Does this make immoral behavior acceptable? Absolutely not!

"The commandments of our Heavenly Father are not negotiable!

"My final plea tonight is that you have the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness. Because the trend in society today is away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, you will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which you believe. Unless the roots of your testimony are firmly planted, it will be difficult for you to withstand the ridicule of those who challenge your faith. When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life. The adversary would like nothing better than for you to allow derisive comments and criticism of the Church to cause you to question and doubt.

"Your testimony, when constantly nourished, will keep you safe."

Plant Ponderings

I do not have a garden. I do not can. My food storage is not complete. Do not judge me (I have a friend who says that a lot on her blog, and it cracks me up - thanks, Val). My father was a master gardener. Even in the heat of the Arizona summer sun, we had a great garden - covered in smelly, awful "horse Panooch". According to him, that was THE best fertilizer ever. What else would a crusty, home-building cowboy say? I did not inherit his skills in this department.

I want a garden this year - ok, I said it out loud. I have a small, slopey, cruddy backyard taken up by a really big ugly bathtub (above-ground pool to you non-Marylanders), with many 4-legged critters who would probably eat anything planted, and no fence. So, where the heck would I put a garden? I don't know. I really don't. But I want a couple of these:


So I got all excited when I found really easy directions in my Better Homes and Gardens magazine. I thought, "WOW! Richard and I could probably actually do this! Let's do it!". Then he got assigned to work 7-day, 12 hour night shifts due to "world issues" so he can't help me. I don't do power tools.

Any husbands for hire?? Any girlfriends who use power tools?

I really can wait another year. Seriously.

The Surprise Box

Have you ever gotten a box delivered to your house that came as a complete surprise? I can't say that I have (or that I remember...!) until a couple of days ago when this arrived:

I pondered, "What did I order?" What did Richard order?" , and "OOH, it's heavy!". I opened it to find this letter and kept reading until I figured out
who had sent it!

And then.... I looked inside..... and found PILES of scrapbooking supplies! Holy cow - I may never need to buy paper again! There are many pads of matching papers, die cut chip board, rub-ons, glitter letters of all colors, and cool puffy stickers! You wonder, did I win a contest?? Nope!

Kent is the KING of GCD Studios - a very successful international businessman I am guessing! He sent this to me just for fun! He and his wife, Juliett, were newlyweds when we lived in South Korea in the early 90s. They were there to survive and to have adventures. We had them over a lot for weekends, for meals, and to play with our wild children. They even babysat for us. They blessed our lives already in so many ways. We haven't seen them for many, many years but exchange Christmas cards every year and have hopes of getting together one of these days. And now, this fun box blessed us again!
Thanks, Kent!
Now I better go and make some stuff, huh?

So, girls, check their products out and support this great company!!

~~a thank you also for all the loving comments, emails, and thoughts coming our way after posting about Les. We appreciate it so very much.

The Day My Whole LIfe Changed

One year ago today, my whole life changed. One year ago today, I was in a place I never wanted to be nor ever expected to come my way. One year ago today, I didn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other. Today, I am ready to put it all out there.

One year ago today, our 16-year-old sweetheart of a daughter decided she didn’t want to live any more. She felt hopeless, alone, confused, distressed, and very anxious. How did we get there? I was standing in a hospital emergency room being rushed to the back because we knew the secret phrase of the day - “ our daughter is feeling suicidal”.

Our sweet Leslie, whom we had prayed for and waited and longed for for so many years, had always had challenges - more than should have understandably been hers. Adopted as an infant, our hopes and dreams for her future were bright, full of promise and love and holy things. As she began to toddle and interact and learn, we got glimpses of challenges that might be in her path. A handful of adults seemed to “get” her, finding pint-sized friends was challenging, and any invitations were few and far between. I was often frustrated myself, day-to-day, dealing with her “strong-willed” style and lost my temper more times than I’d like to ever admit. Primary and most church situations were often frustrating. Even as early as preschool, the pangs of rejection stabbed at my heart, as I knew in my soul that one day, she would feel that, too. I did all I could for many years to protect her from that. One day, and I don’t know when, the ability to do that ran short. The real world slapped her in the face. And on this day, it all slapped too hard and it was too much.

A couple of very intuitive teachers in elementary school noticed things here and there that troubled them in regards to her learning – difficulty counting things one to one, trouble with transitions, challenges with written directions, happy to play alone, hyper-focusing on certain subjects, trouble working in groups, crying easily, few friends, amazing memory and verbal skills which didn’t match work production. I noticed more – reversing letters and numbers, fascination with certain things that she wanted to take apart or tear up, always trouble transitioning, little eye contact.

Any testing at school always came back “normal”. She could do amazing things on tests when she was one on one with the tester. “OH, she is totally fine! She will be FINE”, they would say. I knew otherwise and began my own research.

We decided it was time for neuropsychological testing and forked out the big bucks to Kennedy Krieger, the “experts”. WOW – they are with Johns Hopkins – they will HAVE to be right!! At age 9, they diagnosed her with Ad/hd. “See how ANXIOUS she is? Bouncing around my office? Of course she has Ad/hd.” No, that was not the full answer. We had suspected Aspergers Syndrome, a neurobiological disorder “OH, no”, the experts said. “That is definitely not it. “

The idea of Aspergers, however, never left me completely.

They were wrong.

During Leslie’s THIRD hospitalization for suicide ideation last Spring (that’s one of the MANY psychological and therapeutic terms we are dripping with now) I woke up one morning and checked my email. I had subscribed to on online LDS magazine for quite some time, and honestly rarely read the stuff due to lack of time and sometimes lack of interest. On this morning, things changed. The home page had article, which is written by an adult LDS man with Aspergers and the challenges he faced growing up. I read it and after every sentence I knew in my heart, “THIS is Leslie’s life”. The Holy Spirit overwhelmed me and I just knew. I immediately went to the local library to find the books cited in the article – even in our little po-dunk town, those books were there. I read and read and put sticky notes on every page that had something that described my baby girl. There were at least 30 of them.

We knew. Now we had to find some experts who would know and then help us to know what to do next.

We found some great experts – they tested, they confirmed, they wrote the HUGE reports, and they helped. Now what? What we were doing to help her here, even now that we knew the facts, was not enough. Therapy and medications we were using were not helping. We were getting quite desperate searching for answers.

We asked many loved ones, relatives and “church family” to fast with us as we approached more serious decision-making. Through fasting, prayers offered by so many in our behalf, and by telling others close to us about our challenges, the Lord answered our prayers and led us to those who could help, and He led those with ideas and resources back to us.

The hardest thing we have ever done as parents was to leave our dearest “Bug” in Utah at the right place for her at the time. She needed to be at a location for further diagnosis, at a place that could keep her safe, and that would help us find the next step. The Lord guided us to the right one. He sustained us as we got on that plane and flew back home – without her. He then held our hands while searching once again to what was needed next – a small therapeutic boarding school for girls like her also located in Utah.

Leslie has been living away from home since May 5^th of 2008. We have seen her many times, talk to her on the phone frequently, and she has been home for visits. She is now making amazing progress. She is having to work harder at things that most teenaged girls never dream of, even most adults. She is learning to understand her diagnosis and starting to understand and accept herself. We all have more work to do. Richard and I have had almost a year of “empty nesting” way too soon. We are nearly buried under more debt that we ever thought we would have. As parents we are learning all new ways to parent – in ways that will give her more of what she needs to grow into who Heavenly Father has plans for her to become. We know He walks with her and holds her hand as he has for us. We will make it as we are now able on most days to put one foot in front of the other, using baby steps, and some days even great big ones.

You can read about Aspergers Syndrome here.

Random Cuteness

Tonight I shall blog about a few things that make me smile. First, I have been sewing fun little baby gifts for some friends and family. Minky, satin, and cotton all in one. I call these “Raggees” – when Les was little, she forEVER carried around a cloth diaper in addition to her blankie. So the name stuck and now has a new purpose. I want to learn how to embroider that name on them with my cool sewing machine, but alas, I have not learned how to do that yet. My queen-of-sewing friend, Carrie, calls these Lovies….. Cute.

Here is my silly kitty, Georgie, on my ironing board... yea, so I should pretty much remember to get the cat hair OFF before I iron things. Silly me.

I love love LOVE to hear my daughter sing. She loves to rock out in her room. I love her lack of inhibition when it comes to singing - we should all be so lucky and so confident. Pure joy abounds when she sings - I love it. CUTEness all around. Thank heavens, she prefers OLDIES - like the ones I rocked out to oh so long ago. Love it love it love it. And, thank heavens, she can sing well!

Here's Where I Am At

I have thought a million times about blogging lately, but nothing has come. I have had a million things on my mind, but not sure how to put them into words. I have thought of a million ways to completely change my blog – the look, what I blog about, etc, but haven't decided yet.

So here is a random list of my current thoughts for anyone who cares…

1. I am sick of my house. I want to re-do a lot of things in it, but can’t find the motivation or make the time – oh yea, and then there’s the money! I REALLY want to move to a house with bathrooms bigger than coat closets and closets bigger than port- a- potties – or is the other way around? This may not be the best time in our lives to move, but I still ponder it…..like I have for about 8 years. So, for now, I am making plans to change things here and there in the most economical ways I can.

2. I am often consumed with the mess our country is currently in. Republican, Libertarian, or Democrat, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we are in a mess and it has taken years of mismanagement to get here under several presidents and perhaps more significantly, under several groups of misguided and dishonest congressmen. Did we all just think that that famous scriptural “pride cycle” would never touch us? I am pretty sure I have been in denial about that until recently. So, I work on my food storage and my emergency preparedness these days. And, I try to figure out what I can do to make a difference in this country, or in my own little part of the world, somehow. I think it is time for all of us to step up. More on that later. For now, you can go here.

3. My Richie and I got engaged 25 years ago today. Since it was around Valentine’s Day, we always make that day a big deal – YES, I know many people hate V Day and I recognize a lot of people think a card company created it. Doesn’t matter – we love it. Rich took the 13^th off of work and we spent Friday and Saturday going to dinner, watching movies, went to the temple, making whole wheat bread – YES, that is what I said – that is what he wanted for his present-for me to teach him how. I don’t really know how to that well, but man – we did a GREAT job! I used my mom’s old bread recipe from like 1950 something. DEElish.

4. As I wrote in a previous post, for us, 2008 was not so great, and we pray 2009 will be divine (I can’t believe I just wrote it that way…ew).

2009 has a lot going on for us:

~We will both turn 50! Yikes!! EWW! It can’t be!! When did I actually start admitting my age?

~We will celebrate our 25^th anniversary on the 25^th of May – woo hoo!! How should we celebrate that? Pondering a cruise….hm….I mean, we have been saving for one for about 15 years before we lost a lot of it in the stock market.

~My missionary son will come HOME in August! CanNOT wait.

~My dear daughter will return home from her needed time away at a boarding school – HOORay! LONG story there, still waiting for the right time to blog about that.

So, while I struggle to not dwell on past challenges, and as I easily see this current nation and world full of sadness, frustration, disarray, and dishonesty, I am very excited for the next six months and grateful for my many blessings.